College gives me Anxiety

It is okay to not fit in
But these days it’s getting harder to pretend
Praying time should move faster
Maybe it will make things better.

Walking down the hallways
Feeling shadowed by glances
It’s all in my head, nobody really cares
Or do they?

Heaps of wreck in this tiny head
Guilty to burden or spoil the fun
Dead inside already from all the frustration
All the anger, all this hatred for myself.

Waiting for this sacrificial life to end
Albeit I keep trying to play my cards right
I know I’m not the only one down this path
But there’s no point in trying too hard.

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She

despaired
desolated
drunk in solitude;
she wanders in a world
she could call her own;
they called her mad,
an absolute flaw;
it would not make a difference
if she is gone.